<-Samdarshi (howardels at hotmail.com)

Guinness book of records attempt

My Sannyas Identification Mantra (SIM card) is Sw. Samdarshi, in spite of the fact that I am trying to dis-identify with "Osho Sannyas" as such, due to my bubble being burst AGAIN whilst in and at the "Meditation Resort" (read Deliberation Retort) just a few months ago.

Can u fucking believe it, a tosser of a group leader( we can use Bhagwan's ( who was Osho any way ? Mohan having an identity crisis or wot?) favourite word here or does it offend any one?) "I've gotta fucking black robe on and you will do as I want not as you want when I preside over this meditation!" pissing wanker `Sw Wahido Weirdo'.

Had a good laff though as he was trying to drag me out of the pyramid and I was shouting FUCK FUCK FUCK YOU totally to the max,(as is suggested in the hand book of meditations BE TOTAL!) and he told me I would get into trouble (I love trouble) if I didn't stop and leave Right Now. He couldn't get me out so he just gave up after 5 minutes trying to pull me across the floor even though it's a nice slippy floor he couldn't get me out, hehehe!!

Even though I did get into trouble I have thanked the wanker for the best dynamic I've done for a long time. Trouble (love sex relationships other people) puts me on the edge of life makes me feel alive. Does AnyBoDy or NoBody know a decent counsellor to help me through this need to be in trouble to feel alive, it's been a story of my life. I seem to be a magnet for the stuff which at times just comes rushing in through every pore and cell of my being. Wot 2 do? ne 1 know?. (no advice pls) personal experiences are welcomed, but I don't wanna here no wankers go on about wot I should or shouldn't do thanx but any way as I always try to live by my own motto "Every Body Do Wot They Wanna Do" so I suppose you gonna do wot u wanna do any way. Any way the story gets better and weirder as the days pass.

I have been doing the Slave as a Meditation Program for some days and I haven't worked for that long in years, so my stuff is coming up as it does, and my stuff is pretty out there, which can be a disturbance to the meditation of others at times (as if you can disturb some ones authentic meditation, come on really). Funny how existence put ME in the job I had because every one who was no one had to come through me at the "house keeping help desk" to even get a bloody light bulb changed or a box carried from A to B (lazy bastards) or the air con fixed. So I had communication if u could call it that with all the Black Robes and Fat Men in the place.

Did I have a good laff or wot wiv them. Fortunately my name in Sanskrit means "one who sees all as the same or equal" so their self implied status (read static) and importance (read impotence) cut very little butter? With me. Ne way to cut a really short story long.

I had asked to see a W.A.M.P. counsellor ( four times I asked) coz my stuff was cumming up and who did I get to see? Swami Fat Man (Dyanesh security dick head of the retort's interests ) after Sw Wally Arihato hit me twice in the face at the front gate.

Thanx for the Zen stick!!!

Has any one else been assaulted at the resort? Physically verbally emotionally spiritually coz I rekon a class action could be appropriate to get some of the dark secrets that are being closely guarded and sins propagated at that place out into the open.

Don't think about anything that concerns others. And that's what you go on thinking. Ninety-nine percent of the things that you think about concern others. Drop them, drop them immediately! Your life is short, and your life is slipping out of your fingers. Each moment you are less, each day you are less Each day you are less alive and more dead! Each birthday is a death day; one more year is gone from your hands. Be a little more intelligent. Do not think about anything that concerns others. Train first against the defilement that is greatest. Quote from some mysterious old man


Love to all Samdarshi