Message #39919

Re: Is This Any Better? / not really, try again / Nazinazanazolala


--- Mr. Erhard Thomas wrote:
> Michael Munich Master of Nastiness
> wants us to be INDEPEND of influences.

You want to stay dependant?(!)
That' not your style, man.

> But when something is felt as 'good',
> we appreciate, applaud - and vice versa:

There are two ways to feel:

When the mind creates a "feeling" - which is in fact more
a memory of feeling, a thought, a reaction. When you can say
"I feel so-and-so, BECAUSE you huert me, insulted me...",
then you are in the dimension of good-bad feeling. This is not
an original feeling, but a mind-reaction or mind-make-up.

That's what people usually call "to feel" - and that's why women
are said to feel "more" than men, because that "feeling" is kind
of socially conditioned (trained, learned) and women are more
allowed to "feel" than men are.

Such feelings can easily be stopped or started with words. And
often they start after you have thought about a certain past
situation or why you are soo lonely and the like.


The there is the feeling, which comes to you like a wave in
the ocean - sometimes a tsunami, sometimes only a ripple, but
allways you cannot "do it", it comes and it goes. Especially with
a tsunami-feeling you feel totally helpless ( and nobody can
stop it ). You may feel it coming, before it reaches the shore
of your consciousness, but it comes much more "out of the blue".
You may think about it afterwards, but there is no thought
neccessary to start it. It comes - and it goes and that was it.
Little children have these sort of feeling, before they become
neurotic. This kind of feeling has no dimension of "good and bad",
but only "stronger and not-so-strong" or "now it's there and now
it's gone" or "blocked and suppressed" against "freely flowing".

"good and bad" is based on a judgement, a motivation.
But waves in the ocean have no motivation.


So be a little carefull with the words you use - the words have
concepts behind them, which are often poisened by our ill societies.
"Feeling" is such a word. That they have beaten and manipulated
the original feeling out of us is no reason to forget it completely.


Ka
 

Message #39921

--- Anna spoke to God and said:

> Kabir, why be careful of words?

YOU IDIOT !!! I spoke to N0by! Can't you even understand
such little truths, that people are different?

Next time read and listen and watch in silence, until you
get the other person. And if you don't get it, then just
remain silent, instead of uttering poems and stories about
silence.

For N0by and me words are bridges to feelings, bridges to
other people's hearts (and purses, when selling insurances).
For you, words are just a chance to prove how wonderfull
and what a great feeling person you are.


Tssst, tssst, tsssst .... women!

When will they learn that talking and communicating
are two different pairs of socks ?

Shut up and be beautiful!


Ka

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#39940

Will you please stop pissing into my reality - will you?


--- graemewp flirted with Tom:

> So Tom Tom,
>
> Yeah I express many sides of my wonderful personality,
> ...
> I have no problem if you wish to confine your manifestation to what
> you call ' real '.

Best definitions are allways those,
who go down on the ladder of abstraction.
So let's give examples about "real",
"really" and "reality":


You two are a real HOT couple.

Verbal sex is no real sex.

Really, I wanted to fuck you,
but I dare only talk about it.

Nonduality is to spirituality what
artificial intelligence is to reality
- a theoretical, non functioning model.

For some seekers "spiritual reality" has
become a synonym for "intellectual cruelity"
- especially against their own intellect.





'nuff for today...
it's always a pleasure not to miss you.

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39959

In the outer it matters what is done, in the inner it's essential why it is done.

When I try to improve myself or my situation, then I strengthen the importance
I'm giving to the realm which I believe to be connected to that, which I want to
improve.

That's like trying to improve the situation of people within a dictatorship - even
if I'm fighting the dictator, I'm strengthening the idea, that he is important.
That would not matter much, if there wasn't the observation, that whenever
I stumble over some problems in my life, which could have been avoided, I have
the feeling that this wanting to "be someone" - that importance-attitude - was or
is behind the unrelaxed feeling.

When I'm interested in spirituality, I'm strengthening the dictator, when I meditate,
when I write important stuff for other idiots, even when I don't meditate or don't
write something, there is always this feeling of wanting to be someone - even if it
was wanting to be someone who is not wanting to be someone. When the idiots
answer or don't answer, it's the same - only at the other side of the cable.

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39964

birdshit on seventh chacra


> ... those fellows, whose antisocial attitude does not come out
> of lack of economical/social perspective and lack of love but
> out of the own greed and decision ...

Like sannyasins, seekers, suckers, software-specialists ... ?

...

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39967

--- Anna wrote:
> So, where does that leave anyone? Just with this moment in which we
> interact.
> Is it relevant or irrelevant? Is it binding or freeing?
> Generous or stingy?
>
> Once you see both sides of any issue/cable one is present enough to
> honour Presence: yours, mine and theirs.


One thing is sure: it leaves Anna in this moment in her mind -
meaning, relevance, results, also ambition etc. etc. etc.
 

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39975

Re: birdshit on seventh chacra


> Exactly, sweet prince, not in common but in the sense you meant. And to be
> honest, I'm far away from being a software-specialist but if there is
> anything I know really in all its shades, then it is this event horizon of
> being frozen between living and dying. Do you really think, you need to
> remind me of my ignorance or is this the automatism you can't get rid of,
> just as I do? Morbus House? The fate of incompatibility?

It is not only natural but a major rule of the psyche, that one must first
feel one's own problems, before they can be dropped/stopped. The
development has to happen in the following steps, as I understand it:

starting point: doing bullshit and being unaware of it.
suffering with little awareness (making others responseable for it)
recognizing one's own faults after having done them, that is:
seeing the situation but feeling unable to change it.
seeing one's faults while one is doing it, but still being unable
to do otherwise
being able to stop what one doesn't want to do.
No step can be avoided - that's where most people in the eso circus go wrong:
they try to become better (i.e. try to reach step 5), but avoid to experience the
mandatory helpless phases of suffering (step 3 and 4). As I see it.



> Do you really think, you need to remind me of my ignorance

Need? No. But helping others to feel their problems more intense,
is what I do. Most people avoid phase 3) and 4) - which is natural,
but leaves them stuck.

> or is this the automatism you can't get rid of, just as I do?

When I do my things again and again and again, as you observe
yourself doing it, then why do you automatically assume, that
I want to get rid of them? Do you think, I suffer, because I am
being creative unto the heads of the people here? No, the creative
process is joyful, exciting - when something beautiful comes out
of it, I enjoy it myself probably more than everybody else. It's the
feedback I get, which is problematic for me, like when such egocentric
idiots like Ozzi and his dildo respond, but then there is something to
learn for me - for example to do my thing without expectations.



> Morbus House?

Thanks for the flowers I feel flattered.



> The fate of incompatibility?

Compatible and incompatible is of the outside. They are social reactions,
it's nice to find acceptance, but when I go for it, I cripple myself. I know
that by experience, and based on that thorough experience with society
and with myself, I decided that my originality is more valuable to me, than
any social compatibility can give me.

Going for compatibility never, never, never leads to being original and satisfied.
But going for originality will bring some sort of compatibility - after years, yes,
and only with people, who value it, sure... But true satisfaction is only possible
for original beings.

I just got my goals right: do I want to be myself, or do I want to be
accepted/enlightened/loved/blissful ? My experience is it, that after going for
the first, the second will come automatically (and in such little doses, which
- I must say - seem to be right for me). But the first had to be the first -
no cheating, no lying to myself. After 49 years of living as a normal German,
my prime goal had become to learn about myself. What's yours at the moment?
Have you detected/decided it yet?

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39983

Quo Veet Vasum - where did Veet put the vaseline to ?


Just go on making movies. Fits your energy. Good feeling.

But, perhaps first about normal people. This Ananda is just
a mindfucker - as all Anands are (see N0by). You have not enough
distance to spiritual mindfucking to make acceptable movies
about them.

Chose normal people, that goes deeper.
The most authentic scene was where the black
father and son played football with each other.
The people were authentic and you were authentic filming that scene.

My advice: just take the camera with you wherever you go
and film the town and the people where you live.
For one year at least only such motives.
Just the film with daily sound -
interviews are not needed.
That might ground you.

Don't film yourself, don't film memories, don't interact,
just watch the daily human environment. Just film what
you see. That would be best.

The privat camera is good enough for that. And then cut and put
the films into a password-protected directory on your website
and don't publish them on utube (to avoid legal problems
or been beaten up by skinheads, who don't like their
faces to occur on utube - just in case). And give the password
only to a few people. Giving away information is one of your
ways to lose energy - probably picked up from N0by, so it should
be easy for you to stop it.


Michael
 

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39997

Re: birdshit on seventh chacra


Good morning, Pavitro,

> To me it seems, that these steps do not follow each other like steps on a
> path but depend on my daily energy level.

Yes, this is a good observation. The daily - or momentary - changes
of the energy-level determine, how I feel, how aware I am, etc.
That's like the little waves on water - and below these little waves
there is a big wave rising - and below this bigger wave the ocean
may raise its level during the decades and centuries.

The point is: the energy determines what is going on in the psyche.
Not the psyche is the doer - the psyche is the product of the life energy,
the alive outcome of life, moment by moment.

> Not only that, there are differences within different life aspects,
> so that I may be within step 1 in this theme and within 4 in another.

Sure. My model was just a model.
"There is nothing more practical than a good theory" (said Kirchhoff ?)

> But with each step my anger about my faults rises and the frustration too,
> as it seems to make no difference whether I am a little aware or not, I'm
> trapped in either case, yes, it feels even worse to repeat the old faults
> again and again without having the chance to push the responsibility on my
> unawareness.

As the theory said: a neccessary phase, which should not be avoided,
but observed in all details and tasted with all the senses.



> Through the last ten years it was almost impossible for me to avoid it.
> Sometimes I wished I could.

There is only the way thru it. Because

Our social situation is overflowing with avoidance of feelings, problems etc.
This has to be balanced individually.
The individual development can be compared with adolescense or even birth
- no good way to avoid it, the only practical way is strait into and thru it.
When it's time. And when it's not yet time, then not.
> And there are lots of things left, that I yet do avoid, but on the other hand
> I take the double package. Getting aware of
> things makes me shiver more with each decision as I can see the plants that
> are going to grow out of each seed. Hence the most I fear is my own
> stupidity and the consequences of each unconscious movement feel more
> dooming than ever before. But again and again I fall into some kind of air
> holes. In one moment I can feel relaxed and faithful and just an hour later
> I am in a mood of senselessness and sorrow – and both without triggering
> sensations in the outside. It is like fever coming and going and all I can
> do is watch it and wonder.

You are thinking that you decide. Just have a look at what is really happening:

Your moods and impulses are deciding what you do - and I mean
emotional impulses as well as intellectual ones.

So in reality the decisions are made where the impulses come from.
That source is the real doer.

Did you decide to fall in love with your later wife? And that was a rather
far-reaching decision in your life, I assume.

> Isn't it as natural as to get out shoes that fit no more?

Naturally, but you want to get out of the old boots without opening
the shoe laces. Understandable, but unneccessarily difficult.

A really good brain is bound to see, that it has severe limits.
For example: thinking cannot make decisions. But that becomes
only a problem, if we want to use thinking to guide us thru our
lives. Society has taught us to live this way, but it's not really
functioning very well - or is society doing a good job ?(!)

We all have an inbound guidance-system. That can be activated again
(although it has been and still is severly suppressed). But it doesn't
make sense to reactivate this guidance system, as long as the thinking
system is not ready to give up his decisive role in our lives.

So the suffering is part and parcel of the natural development during
the phase before the process (of birth or adolescence) starts. Before
birth the baby has this famous "no-exit" feeling. Before the beginning
of adolescense one wants to stay a child sometimes and is recognizing
that the girls are recognizing when he is recognizing them. And the
longing, and the pressure, and the misunderstandings, and the pain,
and the pimples ...

My god! The process will start, when it starts. It's not going to be
influenced by thinking. Just enjoy your life as you are living it now.

The decision will not be yours to make, only yours to recognize -
And you will get it, when you get it.


> I know, you play what I call the "Dr. House role" very aware and with
> passion, compassion and fun.
> But it seems that we both are especially very creative in finding the weak
> links in each chain. That is not negative, but there must be something more
> to share than only where the illness sits. It may be different for you, but
> for me I know, that this focusing comes out of the thorns in my flesh. Not
> only, there is also much compassion and thirst for the naked truth behind it
> (otherwise it would be impossible to see the same behind your little
> attacks), but I know that each revealing of one of these thorns shifts my
> focus. That does not mean, that I wouldn't be able anymore to see, where the
> lies are nor that I would stop naming them, but it would add a little music,
> would make me more singing than shouting.

In a way - by describing and explaining your situation, you want to keep control
over the possible development. Stepwise, one thorn after the other etc...

That's not how it happens.

To share is only possible by giving you the chance to experience.
This experience is basically an irreversible process, hence you need
preparation. Just compare it to something 100-fold more severe
than skydiving. When this is done against your will, desaster is bound
to happen. And when you want to determine, how the parachute should
be folded, what boots you want to wear and that you will first try it
thorn-by-thorn by starting with a 50-m jump before going any higher
- well, then no responseable skydiving instructor will follow that ideas
of yours, and you better refrain from following your ideas also.

There is no way to become only 10% pregant. Some may lie to you
and fuck you anyway... But look, how fucked up most people in the
spritual circus are already, because they ran after spirituality
without being ready for it...


> Many people realize me as a very negative one ...

This game is not about opinions of others.

> He was oppressed and afflicted, yet he did not open his mouth; he was led
> like a lamb to the slaughter, and as a sheep before his shearers is silent,
> so he did not open his mouth."
> These words and the utter beauty in it are getting more meaningful for me
> with every day. It is sad that this song is linked with the idea of becoming
> a messiah or something. No, couldn't it be true for everyone?

Provocing strong negative social feedback in others is part of the process,
because one is first acting rather antisocial (in the eyes of the others).
So your feeling is right.

> I know, you hear this music also, dont't we speak of the "songs" of Kabir?
> I dont't reject your teachings, old friend, but I'm longing much more for
> communion.

Perfect. Allow the longing to become stronger. What else to do?

And - it's itching me to say that - when I'm playing the teacher, then
I'm saying what is to do, and when it is to do, and how it is to do.
And then I pick the disciple (or rather energy picks them a I do
just what energy tells me to do). And that holds certainly true for
any teacher, who is worth a 9-mm cartridge.

> There is nothing to be said. It is more like visiting a concert
> with a friend is more fulfilling than to do it alone, no need to analyse or
> discuss the experience. Just to know, that one has not listened alone is far
> enough. Every spoken word even seems to disturb.

A concert is mundane. Ready to visit a suicide bombing happening?
These things are more in at the moment.



> I heard in your words more than once the pain, that comes out of
> the experience of being rejected for that, what you are.

That's the price, everybody has to pay to be her/himself.

> Being loved or rejected for a played social role may be nice or not, but
> being rejected for the real inner being, even if it comes only out of
> blindness about one's own love and compassion, because they do not come in
> the common wished/understandable way makes somehow lonelier than any other
> kind of rejection could do.

My being is not rejected, it's only the roles and minds, which collide.

> But this feeling of being rejected over years, maybe
> your whole life, may be the thorn in your flesh?

After ten years it got easier. After twenty years it is
usually coming to an end, as it's said.

> Would showing more of your
> inner song be against your originality? Is showing more shieldless your
> sensitivity the feeling you cannot stand? Doesn't this protection create
> further need of protection as a vicious circle?

I don't like to be intimate with everybody,
and not everybody likes to be it with me.

And seducing others to do some
parachute-less parachuting is my song.


> Maybe this fits not to you, but to me. Hence I can imagine that it may be
> similar for you.

You think too much.


> As you know, my true battlefield is here at my home.

I've heard you say so. Yet you hang around with the mad street dogs...
And some of the dogs smell strongly of wolf under their sheeps-skin.
HereAndNowLetsOnlyWriteAboutIt for example. Nothing to say about
my deo.

> And here I have to be
> the sheep in my heart, while strong winds still blow in my face. It is hard,
> but it is not because of longing for compatibility. It would be OK to be
> rejected for what I am and not for my defences, but still I have the feeling
> of not really been seen. It is hard to keep in touch with my love, but it's
> imo the only way with a chance of healing, for all of us. This is at the
> moment the cross I carry every day, and resurrection is very uncertain as I
> have been an idiot all my life and still am. The only thing I have to offer
> is my heart, I don't know, if that is enough, as I do not function in the
> way as the male role is expected and I feel like taking in not only my
> faults but also that what was before. There is no way to escape. Not, that
> there are not days I would like to, but I would live in shame and
> dishonorableness if I did. And so, according to my daily energylevel, I
> shift between faith and shattering fear. Learning about myself is in this
> sense nearly a byproduct.

When I read your above paragraph, I'm getting the feeling,
that you are not talking with your partner about all that.
Lonesome rider syndrom plus a family-man?
That's a strange mixture.


Why not be totally with what you are doing at the moment?



Kabir
 

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40005

VAT?


--- "parts unknown species" emitted:

> you calling me an idiot ?

Just see reality as it is and don't fight windmills with hot air, sir.


> talk about bad kama ! by the way ...

Well, "karma" is written with an 'r' and means deed or action and is a
short form of the "Law of Karma", which is basically the spiritual basis
of the psysical law of action and reaction. In that context it is common
to talk about "good karma" and "bad karma".

When written as "kama" the word means sex - as in "Kamasutra", the
Sutras (teachings texts) about sex. And although bad kama is as common
as bad karma, it's seldomly talked about.

So you two idiots are talking about bad sex? No wonder, good sex is a
function of intelligence, awareness and love - if I remember correctly,
as my memory is fading in the age of herenow wisdom.



Just my 2 cents + VAT (VAT = Value Added Tax, that's what you have to
pay extra, because you two idiots first tried to attribute so much value
to yourself with your stupid texts).
 

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40008

Re: it seems



> Kabir ....has had his curry in a hurry !

So VAT? German conditioned idiot against Indian conditioned idiot.
Do you really expect me to have followed your competition?
My feeling is right, you both are word-driven idiots, fucking
each other with words. Indian on top, the other down under - or
vice versa - who cares but you poor bad examples of whatever you
believe to be?


> We like it rough here and you couldn't possibly match my superior
> german intellect anyhow !

Why should I try to match you in any way, anyway?

Translation for your mindmill: Intellect - roughness - spirit blahblah -
you use all of that only for compensation, anyway.

Roughness is not strength, intellect is not an open mind
and spirit blahblah is no open heart.

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40014

Re: perhaps


--- parts better unknown species wrote:

> Kabir thinks his gaseous outflows are relevant to this
> audience....i don't

But you would need it MOST !

Well, if you don't want, what you need ... what can I do ?


 

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40020

Re: birdshit on seventh chacra


Good evening, Pavitro,

thank you very much for sharing your state.

Kabir
 

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40034

Re: birdshit on seventh chacra


--- Pavitro wrote:

> You are right, Kabir, I shouldn't again and again bother you
> with my little hell.

You are not bothering me, I enjoy being in contact with you.
Your previous posting was just written in a way, which didn't
needed any answer.

> I thank you for your good intensions, but I don't want you
> to waste your time on me.

Thank you for your good intentions, but I decide where and how
to spend the time. And, please, be a little more honest regarding
what you want.

> Rather use that energy for someone who is ready to jump.
> I will not think bad of you for that.

But how would you feel?

You are pretty ready to jump, you just don't want to. Shall I talk
against your intentions? No, that's not my idea of friendship
or support or whatever.

> I am already dead, only my corps is still moving around
> for a while.

That sounds still pretty tolerable and manageable.
I was planing to commit suicide, before I decided
to go really for a change.

> don't you think so?

I think you have an inner fight going on. One part of you
is giving you the bad feelings, making fire under your ass
so to say, and the other part is saying "No. No change, no,
I'm not changing anything of my attitude towards life." -
and is not lifting his ass.

But your life force, where the bad feelings come from,
obviously has different ideas how to live.


> best regards
> Vlad Dracula


And how do you call this part inside you, which is creating
your feelings, that you are dead? What's her name? Why not
ask her: please tell me your name, I'm sorry I've forgotten,
I've slept sooo long and dreamt that I was alone.


Imagine: you are married to the most wonderful women, the perfect
fit for you. A marrigage that lasts your whole life and can never
be divorced. This women is inside you.

Does she have any chance to express herself? Or does she only get
those impulses and feelings, which you don't like?
Have you listened to her in your life?

Nearly your whole life up to now, you have kept her inside?
She was not allowed to go out and meet her friends?
She was not allowed to say something about the life you both
are living? Only you, you, you and never she?

Well, man, women can create a lot of hell for you for much less.
If you continue suppressing her, I bet she's going to pester your
life in ways you never ever dreamed about.

And she's right to pester you. If you would ask me to side with
one of you in this inner couple-fight, I wouldn't think a single
second and say "I'm on her side". Not because I am against you,
but because I know she is you - this you which you have not lived
yet. This side of yours, you like to talk about in fluent words in
the spirit-urinals, but which you don't want to LIVE. Talking on
the outside about dead Buddhas and the growth of awareness and
suppressing the living Buddha and growing awareness within you.

The problem is not, that your inner Self is against you,
the problem is it, that you are against your Self.
And behind all that words and concepts of yours
you are afraid of that immense Love within.
Hence you prefer to be half dead
instead of completely gone.


Ka
 

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40041

Re: birdshit on seventh chacra


Anna said:

> Ummm. Now I know why you are 'teacher' Ka.

No, you don't. To be a teacher has no "why" in this life.
Therapists, yes, therapists often become therapists because
they experience in their lives the urgent need for therapy.

But a teacher is born a teacher, like a dog is born a dog.
Good dog, bad dog - doesn't matter, a dog is a dog and not a cat.
Except perhaps for the huskies, they have a lot of cat-energy, too,
in addition to being a dog.

And wether a dog fulfills your ideas how a dog should behave -
that's not the point at all. Actually a teacher has no interests
in fulfilling your ideas about anything at all (and Bavrian
sausage dogs are the equivalent of that as dogs).

So better call me a Bavarian sausage - that will remind you
of my functioning as your bliss-fullfiller.


> The truly interesting thing in this uniting of our dual selves
> is the inherent bliss that was/is always ours is "felt". And
> we are feeling creatures, after all.

If you feel it always... But my impression is that you don't.

And secondly that bliss is not the truly interesting thing,
especially not for someone, who is suffering.
How to handle the actual situation, that's what counts.


Anna, you play to be blissful, you imagine to be blissful,
you remember having been blissful, but below the surface
you are still window-shopping for bliss. And that's why you
are not self-contented, BTW.



Only misers need to have their focus on inherent bliss
and use "Love" every third word. Celtic Black Hole is
more authentic than you, Anna, - at least she doesn't
claim to be blissful. Perhaps that's your problem...

Why not enjoy the talents you have? You two are talented
as upsetters - so upset. Live your talents - that's the
only way to live a truly satisfied live. But talents are
not something one can buy in a shop - or drop into the
next garbage trunk, for that matter.


Much Love to both of you - but don't mistake me: it's not
me who's loving you, I'm only the postman for that loveletter.

But Love is there for you, I can feel it.


Ka
 

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40048

Re: PROPHECY


> "I wish to become a teacher of the Truth."
>
> "Are you prepared to be ridiculed, ignored and starving
> till you are forty-five?"
>
> "I am. But tell me: What will happen after I am forty-five?"
>
> "You will have grown accustomed to it."

:)

Must have been a young man in his twenties.

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40054

Re: How to end this sense of separatness


... just a note ...

> Anna: That's the gist of it; we're already locked up in solitary
> confinement--our bodies; and once in a while, we realize we are One
> and that undoes us for awhile.

No, Anna, that's not how it happens.
Once in a while the veils and blocks are loosened a little
and the illusions dissolve like mist in the sun.
The realizer is one of these illusions. Only AFTER the
happening the egocentrice view clicks again "in",
interpreting, classifying, analyzing and memorizing
the formerly holistic experiencing.

The way you see it, Anna, would mean that the lower
state can experience and thus can include the higher.

Not the Oneness is to be realized, just the dream of
being .i.s.o.l.a.t.e.d. needs to be reduced.

This has practical consequences: striving for something brings
improvement of vision only seldomly, but looking after and
experiencing one's energy blocks and avoidances is usually
opening new doors. But the latter is more work and more
humiliating for the ego, hence most "seekers" are just
seeking bliss and avoiding their shadows, and thus remain
unneccessarily self-centered and short-sighted.

Not the Buddha needs to be found, but the shadow needs to
be felt, observed, looked into with an open heart and mind.
After real catharsis, it simply becomes obvious that Love
and arwareness is and was alread and always here. Only we
have not been here, because we were seeking Love and
Buddhahood where it cannot be found, namely in our mind,


> We learn to live with the pain of realization/separation
> AND with the pain of bliss, always welling up inside...

Bullshit.

 

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40059

Birdies on the 19th hole


Hi Pavitro,

with your postings I somehow get the feeling, that you make up your problem,
so that you have something to talk about. I mean, you are not the only one, who's doing
that here and you are certainly that one, who hides it best and talks about his problems
in the most feeling and open way. So it's more what you leave out, than what you tell,
which triggers my feeling.

Somehow it's playing the little boy. Not soooooo neurotic and convulsic as Tom is playing
this role - he seems really a prisoner of the little-boy role, while you do it much better and
more natural.

But nevertheless, the innermost area in top secret - your private area fifty-one so to say.
So secret, that it is even not classified as secret (otherwise everybody would ask, of course).
Just when the talk is nearing the area, something else comes up, which is also a little
private secret, but within the tolerable limits of news coverage...

There is no UFO, there never was an UFO, not a flying one, nor a crashing one,
and naturally no dead aliens have ever been seen by you. Area - what-was-the-number?
Oh, THAT area! Your shoe laces are open and I fear you might fall any moment.

So why do you pretend to suffer? No crash, no dead little bodies, everything is OK.

The status quo is exactly as you want it, information politics are totally in your hands,
everything is perfectly under control of a fast working, far seeing mind-machine-crew,
which every think-tank would be all to proud to call their employees.


That's my feeling, after having read a couple of your posting. I mean:
go ahead, I'm not criticising you, you don't have to change. I like reading from you.

I just wonder how you look like in the morning, unwashed, unshaven, with a hangover
from yesterday and an aversion to go to work, because I've never seen you that way,
figuratively spoken.

Yet, I think, whenever you are silent for a while these must be the times, when you let
yourself hang out from being perfect.

I'm just sitting naked in my flat, with a feather bed around my waist, from which the
big belly slips out often, getting cold now and then the bed is rearranged to cover
it up and warm it again a little. Teeth are not yet brushed, I've not yet had my morning
bath, but consumed a large cup of coffe and two Aspirin plus C already, my feet are getting
cold and I'm thinking about making me another pot of coffee and a bred with cheese.
The flat is a mess, needing order and cleaning urgently - but I hate doing it, although
I would enjoy greatly if it was tidy again (subjunctive mood). Computers are standing
around, needing software installation, and I have to be careful at night not to stumble
over them. My TODO-backlog is longer than my statistically remaining life-time.
But I am me, I worked for it, I paid for it with time and pain and whatever.
I wanted it that way and I'm honest enough towards myself, that I am the only
one who is resonseable for my situation and hapyy with it, even if (or because?)
it hurts sometimes and is no picnic.

And you are whining about something you are not going to change anyway?
What the hell is going on here? Are you pulling my leg or what? Why are you
denying to be happy, but doing everything exactly as you want it?
What fake is this? German spiritual internet version of Saturday Night Live?

I don't get it.

I'll make myself another coffee and take an half-hour hot bath,
check the bank-account wether the money is allready there, and
perhaps then I have enough discipline to do the programming
which needs to be done.



No UFO, no life. Phoning home. My big green toe is blinking.

http://jivano.eu/Toe1.jpg

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40064

chopping words, drinking water, smoking gras.


--- hans wrote:

> > group of scaring neurotics.
> Till now we followed in silence.
> Now you started side kicking,

So let's do a more direct kick
to satisfy your expectations.

As you are talking in the plural about yourself, dear Hans,
the better word might have been "shizophrenic" in your case.

Neurotic is just the result of suppressing feelings into
the subconscious and isolating the original trauma
in a "neurotic encapsulation" - i.e. forget about it.
Tell me the name of one person in this list, who is not
neurotic. The fact, that you felt insulted ... <censured> ...

While schizo splits the psyche into several personalities,
which is regarded as mental illness by the classic psychanalysis,
whne two or more personalities are built, while spiritual wisdom
sees the illness to start with the first personality.


As an example: just answer the question:

"What was your face, before you were born?"

If you don't know it, it's probably neurotically encapsulated
(because you've been soooo extremely ugly then?).


> You should be very gratefull.
> We provide the lay-stall where your master feels at ease.

Ozzi is feeling at ease here?
With CAPS-CRAMPS in his mind?
Hhhhhhhhmmmmmmmm... daubtful.


> Holland Hug,
> hans

Munich Mug,
michael





-------------------------
"Be A Trauma To Yourself"
Buddha ~2500 b.C.
translated by Kabir
-------------------------
 

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40066

Re: BIG FATSO BULLY BOY...TRUTH?


> ... OZAY SAYS ...
> ONE WHO THINKS HE IS ONLY THE BODY WILL
> ALWAYS BE VULNERABLE AND WEAK,


One, who needs LARGE LETTERS only, is
suffering from erectile dysfunction.


Spamming is your technique
- VIAGRA is your friend -
weakness is your trauma.
 

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40074

Backwards is not back.


Rattata Tom, weg is del Balkong, dong

> Kabir feels, he must die soon ...
> So he can postpone his enl ...
>
> A next-life master ... just like
> Osho in his last life a Tibetan
> monk - 700 years ago ... ?

It's good to see that you ale back into youl senses.
But you put them on backwalds.

Mushlooms ale vegetalian,
Adam is an old fliend,
Sannyas is the way flom hele to hele,
Tluth is what wolks,
E is a vitamin, hehehe,
Lucy doesn't live hele anymole.


Postponing leality is like pissing into
youl tlousels without getting wet.

Finding the satgulu with the help of dlugs
means loosing it in the next molning.

Bettel die high than live folevel.

The ultimate dlug is impossible to get.

The glass is gleener in cookies.

Love is a foul lettel wold.

G'd and T'm have a hole in the middle.

Colol is cleated in the blain - if it's still thele.

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40076

... the real one and the perfect one?

I'm having my daubts.

But nearly every asshole on this list claims to be perfect.


Ka

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40086

Re: How to end this sense of separatness


--- In n0by@yahoogroups.com, "anabebe57" <kailashana@...> wrote:

> Bull fn shit! to be precise!

Not very precise for me.
What does "fn" mean?
 

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Mar 5, 2008 12:30 am livingkabir <ka @.....> Left group via web

40097

Re: birdshit on seventh chacra / muck-heap in between Nothing




Kabir <ka@...> wrote:

> My feelings about what a real man's job would be, are different.

Well, that can be said, and it's easy to see:

first become real
then do what you see right to do and
don't do what you don't see right to do
What's the first step to become real then?

see what is unreal in you
And nobody want to see that.

Why? Because having become unreal was the only way
at some earlier time in the individual life to avoid severe
pain.

Take Ozzi for example: everybody can see, that he is on
a power trip and that in reality he must feel pretty helpless.
But he doesn't want to feel helpless. So he continues his
avoidance-trips, but the original feeling remains unfelt, and
consequently the whole situation develops into a vicious circle.

More compensation => less original feeling.
Less original feeling => less release.
Less release => more compensation neccessary.

Until the system reaches it's inherent limits,
for example until the body dies of old age or
of the psychosomatic illnesses that result from
the suppressed feelings.

Easy to see, isn't it? Only Ozzi will not see it that way.


Or take N0by for example: he was not allowed to express
himself freely - which is somehow understandable, because
he is a natural talent to be a pain in the ass. But nevertheless
they tried to break his spirit and his only way was it to
compensate physical force and aggression with verbal venom.

But the original pain is not released in the compensatory
politics for "free speech", because the past violation of his
freedom cannot be made undone thru future freedom.

Easy to see, isn't it? Only N0by will hold on to free speech,
as if his life still depends on it.


Or look at yourself: you feel you want change, yet your adaption
to your social environment was how you saved your individuality.
You learned not to do anything and live your freedom in phantasy
and thoughts. But that's not freedom, that's adaption. That was
not love, that was education. That was conditioning.

You cannot see it, I could not see it. And even when I tried to "free"
myself somehow (without knowing how and why and what I was
doing), I stumbled only deeper into slavery: first the alternative
conditioning of therapy then the new-age conditioning of Sannyas.
All that just to avoid the original feeling and thus making my inner
situation less and less tolerable.

 

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40310

--- Kabir wrote to Pavitro:

> But nevertheless, your innermost area is top secret - your private area fifty-one so to say.
> So secret, that it is even not classified as secret (otherwise everybody would ask, of course).
> Just when the talk is nearing the area, something else comes up, which is also a little
> private secret, but within the tolerable limits of news coverage...

--- to which Pavitro answered:

> Hmm, I wonder what that could be. It must be so secret, that even I don't know it.
> I wouldn't say, that you are wrong, but I have really no idea.
> As you watch something like this, can you describe the area, where it happens?

Kabir had the feeling, it's time to answer to that question again and to answer not only for Pavitro, so here is his answer:

It's of no avail to describe this area, where that could be known, because then the describtion would be taken as the basis for the next search, and the search itself would run in a circle. Only the way to that area can be indicated - and that very indirectly only, because the search itself is what makes an easter-egg into an easter-egg.


<b>"Do you know that feeling when you have longed for something soo long and soo intense that you had to forget it altogether?"</b> from http://www.thiefdoor.net

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40311

This Yahoo system is bullshit.

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Mar 26, 2008 10:55 am livingkabir <ka@....net> Joined group via web

Mar 26, 2008 11:24 am livingkabir <ka@....net> Left group via web

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