| …Birthdays! Thanks Anne and Alton for your public birthday celebration with us in our Free Speech group gathering! Coming from and somehow through sex aren't we all made of this stuff called sexuality? Alone in Munich my body, my heart, my mind, deep in my cells - all of me is longing for a woman! My woman or any woman? Doesn't matter! My Mimamai lives with me since 10 years: We care for each other. So I leave my lonely Munich home and drive two hours through the evening and meet her at her apartment in Bamberg, when she has closed her Christmas Market hut a 7.00 p.m. |
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| Soon in bed my body relaxes in her warmth, her soft breath. Some energy inside watches my desires, but my old, lazy body isn't ready, to fulfill my desires in actions. But these calm breathing moments are so peaceful and relaxing! My woman breeds in her sleep a relaxing peace for me. Many private skype calls with our friend Veet Thomas in Hamburg discuss this eternal question: 'cherchez la femme!' Veet Thomas looks for an answer more than 15 years. Now, when Thomas is 51 years old, he sounds as if he has missed something in life. Now Thomas asks Satsang Gurus Samarpan and Karl Renz for help. Both Gurus enrich in Hamburg poor Thomas with 'enlightened wisdom'. OZAY's enlightenment doesn't attract Thomas, because Thomas misses in our Free Speech German women, to help Thomas. When Thomas could only smell a woman from far distance to reach, he would immediately write hundred pages, to come close to her. I understand Thomas very well, because Gurus are always secondary, women come first. The result is obvious: I surrender to Mimamai. I shut up and follow her orders - especially as her helper on Christmas Market. She is the boss! |
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| It's much better, to admit my missing EGO strength than to suffer like Veet Thomas for 15 years. Thomas strengthens his EGO, because he was never ready to surrender to a little woman! I am to crazy, to live on my own. So since my student days I always looked for an answer for my fundamental quest:
'Cherchez la femme!' Three, four times women left me alone. I suffered like crazy. Then I lost sleep, hunger and weight. I try to hunt like crazy a lady to lay. I always found someone. But Thomas has not found anyone yet. |
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| Veet Thomas shares most of his sexuality with himself. But without job, without
money, without much chance to pay his rent, Thomas is longing now for a lady more than
ever. Maybe she or some Satsang Gurus can help? Thomas doesn't know and in deep
despair, Thomas even claimed, that I should serve as his Guru. But I don't!
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| All I can do, all I can hardly do, is to help myself, to care for my
daughter, my woman - maybe my old, old mother. How can I care for friends, who are not even able to care for
him-/herself? I can't! In Bamberg I read the news from the lovely ones, who dare to share without censorship: Alton (Hawai), Anne (U.S.A. ?), Zora and OZAY (Sweden), Jeeva (India), Georg Maddux (Texas), Eric (France), Axel, James (USA), Graeme (Great Britain). An old lazy dog like me is astonished, that there seems nearly no one around to bait with nasty bytes my ears or my tail. Everyone pretends to be happy, and I, an old dog in Bamberg, start snoring. Quarrels keep me more awake, but peace is welcome as well, isn't it? |
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| Things need to be done in Mimamai's little market hut, more like a dog's hut than a home for the winter, when finally the rain starts to change into snow. |
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| Es macht mir keinen Spaß, hier mit
Hulubambu allein rumzualbern - sinnvolle Gespräche sind whl nicht mehr
möglich - ich scheine nicht der richtige Gastgeber zu sein, daher schliesse
ich das Forum Ende dieser Woche. - n0by ist der Einzige, der noch von Zeit zu Zeit annähernd offen geredet hat - aber seine Manipulationen, Lügen und Verstellungen zeigen mir, daß er weder an mir, noch an der Wahrheit groß interessiert ist. Ich dachte ihn nur eine Zeit lang als Quasi-Freund, weil sonst hier Niemand wirklich schreiben wollte. Alles hat seine Zeit - die meine hier ist abgelaufen - das Forum ist längst tot - ich werde es nicht sinnlos weiter dahin vegetieren lassen, nur um Selbstgespräche zu führen, dann lieber den Todestoß geben, der nur noch eine längst überfällige Konsequenz ist - mehr nicht. Ich sehe, daß offene Selbstanalyse Niemanden wirklich interessiert, weder Sannyasins noch Freidenker in unsererem sozialen Webspace, und langweilige Grabenkämpfe und sinnlose Banalitäten verdienen einfach nicht den Namen "Freigeist" ! Danke den Wenigen, die mit Wohlgefallen den einen oder anderen Thread mitgelesen haben - aber Desinteresse an aktiver Mitarbeit kann kein Forum lange verkraften ! Liebe Grüße, Thomas |
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