World Weariness, II

This week end tortures and enjoys myself with long driving hours again in spring from Munich, Bamberg to Dortmund - the fourth long journey to my old Mom this year. There is no visit to my daughter in Nuremberg on the way anymore, because there are quarrels too with this sweet young lady. She has married her entrepreneur she let us know several weeks ago. My sweet daughter complained that I'm not great help in her severe sickness. Her arguments: She needs to console me in my sadness, but it is her fight for life and death! She is right like always, but that doesn't change my mind much, when black depressive thoughts burden this dark night of my soul! It's impossible to pretend to be happy, when my daughter is sick

There are my 30 years investments in life and education of this lovely lady, my daughter, on the edge to death that not exists at all. The dead ones like Michael have closed the chapter to communicate with us somehow, but the living ones keep on struggling! For what?

My strong suspicion from my evil experiences: All is done only to stay alive somehow, somewhere and to stink these awful advertisings around: 'Hey! Look at me! I'm still alive and ahead of you all! Don't you smell my farts of spiritual or wordly achiements in your little toilet at home in front of the screen or on TV or WEB or Cinema, Newspapers, Music, Theatre - what ever public media you use?'

'Hey! Look at me!'

'Hey', claims the suicid bomber on YouTube, 'Hey! You all pious followers of G*D, the ALMIGHTY, hey join the Holy Jihad to free ourselves from slavery and suppression! When you are not yet ready to sacrifice your life, give your damned evil money at least for G*D's Sake!'

'Hey,' there are still these arguments of Bhagwan, the Blessed One, in my memory, 'hey, it's me, the Enlightened One, Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh, who has sacrificed my life to transform you! But you egoistic evil maniacs, you complain about money lost for your your transformation process! What kind of foolish devotees are you?'

'Climate Wars' is a book, I read these days, 'Climate Wars' describes, how the Luxurious Islands of U.S. and Europe isolate their countries against the flood of poor people from Africa or South America. 'G*D's own countries' fantasize people like CMD down under near the sunny sand beach of the marvellous ocean as long no fire storms and no floods threatens her possessions.

But when 'G*D's Will' takes back, what G*D has given, men turn into a furious animal! These human beasts fight without mercy! Mechanical minds programmed by gain and greed gather for fascist’s futile fights.

Hallelujah! Let's pray in public: 'G*D is on my side. No sacrifice in vain! It's all G*D's will, isn't it? It is. Amen.'

The suicide bomber adores his Guru Osama Bin Laden, the western intellectual and non violent pretender adores his Guru the Dalai Lama, but all together adore themselves no matter for what good G*D's sake we are fighting and dying for. Hallelujah.

Schnaps and beer the belly beast has swallowed. The cultivated high price France red wine ends the entertainment of my mind masturbation tonight to slip into sleep again. Sleep and death, the brother of sleep, have mercy for life!

A sudden death looks like mercy. Isn't it humiliating to carry napkins again? Isn't it humiliating to need help to stand up from a toilet seat? Isn't it humiliating to get spoon food in old age like a baby again?

Month of May creates new flowers, green leaves. My brother left his job as teacher after 33 years. So he has energy to care for my old Mom. The professional care takers work as much they can, but it is never enough.

millstone for a paper mill

(Bavarian Bath Bruckenau)